American microbrews appear to be afflicted by a mutation of the virus that has long infected the hair salon industry: terrible names. Hair salon names suffer under horrible puns like "British Hairways" and "Combing Attractions". American microbrews, on the other hand, are cursed by, what, as far as I can tell, is a simple case of male tomfoolery. I say that because looking around the beer aisle I can't imagine anyone but a fifteen year old boy thought up most of the names. Some, like Dogfish, sound like grunge band rejects from the 1990s. Others, like Slippery Pig and the above Ashtray Heart, seem like they won the clever drunk dude napkin brainstorm contest. The worst of the lot are mildly sexist and/or violent, like Fat Bottom and Wicked Beaver. All told, it's a sad lot that make microbrews like Bell's stand out even more, not just for the quality of their beer but the rare note of dignity their name lends to the bodega beer case.